2013 Baseball Facts

2013 Mets Facts, Mostly in no particular order.

1. RA Dickey is now on the Toronto Blue Jays.

2. Watching him laugh and have fun and giggle with his new teammates in a new uniform for a new team is horrible and soul crushing. 

3. Mike Pelfrey is going to have an amazing first half of the season with the Twins. 

4. Then after the all-star break he is going to revert to his natural mental state of being baseball's Dauber from the sitcom Coach. And we can all laugh and feel relief. 

5. Isaac 'Ike' Davis will hit over 29 HR's and have over 100 RBI's, all while posting a BA of .155 through August 15th.

6. Jimmy Rollins will get the clap (again).

7. Josh Thole and Mike Nickeas will quit baseball and run off together to start Toronto's best vegan falafel chain called 
"Falalalalafel's".

8. Terry Collins will not receive a contract extension at the end of the 2013 season.

9. With only 2 months left in the season Josh Hamilton will check himself in rehab citing addiction to the Japanese cartoons known as Anime.

10. The New York Mets ownership will again face serious accusations as the "Buy a Ticket, Get a Puppy" promotion crumbles due to allegations of fraud.

11. Mets outfielders will combine for a league worst 1 HR through the first 50 games of the year. 

12. I will buy tickets to Zack Wheeler's first big league start, and before the first pitch is thrown I will already have consumed 9 beers and 2 Shake Shack burgers. I will later be escorted out of the stadium screaming "Mooooooooookkkkiieeeeeeee".

13. I will run back into the stadium and attempt to playfully accost Keith Hernandez in the booth. I will later be arrested but not before I pluck a handful of Keith's mustache which I then sell on eBay.

14. Mets outfielders will combine for a league worst 2 RBI's through the first 50 games of the year.

15. RA Dickey is now on the Toronto Blue Jays.